26. Sep, 2013

Friends forever

I remember sitting on my bed on the first night of my first ever visit to a psyche ward.

I was in a room with three other people and I felt like my world had collapsed around me. I didn’t want to be there, in truth I didn’t want to be anywhere!

It still feels like the pain of the grief I felt in my chest that night left behind a scar, and that scar causes phantom pains. As I write the pain resurfaces and I have difficulty drawing breath. 

I have never felt more alone than I did that night! One of the lovely evening nurses named “Marnya” came into my room to ask me whether I wanted a visitor because my very special friend April had come to see me.

Of all the people that could have walked through that door, she was the one I wished for the most, as she is probably the most empathic and caring soul I know.

April sat there hugging me tight while I sobbed like a baby for what seemed like hours but in reality was several minutes.

I don’t think there has ever been a time in my life when I have needed a friend so much and she was there and not fazed by my extreme health issues.

I have a few good friends who have stood by me in my years of need and they have been supportive, non-judgmental and loyal and these are often rare qualities when associated with issues surrounding mental health.

I have confided to them my deepest secrets and yet they still remain my friends.

These wonderful people are encouraging me by reading and critiquing my blog, they take crisis calls when I need to talk and they tell me I’m great when I need the occasional ego boost.

Good friends are under-rated! I remember my life-long friend Megan providing a rescue mission during another hospital stay, and she is also a pillar of strength and love.I don’t think they realize the impact they have had on my life, but I know how important it is to have loyal friends when your world is being ravaged and savaged by the voices of darkness and evil.

My companions have helped to provide me with a reason to live and they make me feel like I do have value in this world, even if I can’t recognize that for myself.

I love, admire and thank my true friends …..you are all absolute champions in every-way!